Where to start?
Why am I finding it so difficult to get started. I'm thinking about what to write, who will be reading it, will it be interesting, can I be bothered. So I obviously need to set myself some ground rules before I start. (almost said "we start" then, that's a nasty habit I confess to. (gosh .. already confessing to habits .. this really is therapy). More often than not I'll refer to "we" instead of "I".. I'm sure a psychologist would be able to tell me what this means.. ~COMMENTS PLZ~ .. Am I fearful of loneliness, or a salesman wanting to show that there is already momentum. Or maybe its my ego and me, the observer & the observed that apparently don't exist according to Buddhism ... That's a duality they refer to that is a state of illusion. As is the thought that we ... doh ... I exist separately to to the outside world. This is apparently another form of duality. So that makes at least 3 entities in my mind ... observer, observed, outside world ... so this should be called the illusion of triality shouldn't it? ~COMMENTS PLZ~
My friend Ben has just returned from a retreat centre in the north of the South Island of New Zealand with teacher Tarchin Hearn.
http://www.wangapeka.org/teacherbios/tarchinhearn.html
Ben has completed his second sitting of 5 months at this centre and is now back here in Pembrokeshire passing on his lessons to some of us. He held his first meditation session here at my studio ... http://www.shireinitiative.co.uk/studio/ ...last week at which 8 friends attended. It turned out to be a great 2 hour session with body movement, walking & sitting meditation where we had to focus on the breath in & out of the nostrils for 20 minutes. Its suprising how difficult this is and my mind was whizzing off playing all sorts of tricks trying to justify itself talking. Even as far as telling me (the observer, I guess) that we could do both at the same time, I can listen to my mind talking while simultaneously listening to my breath. I went along with this for a while and even convinced myself I must be clever. Then rational mind brought me back to thinking that the intensity of thought must have been diluted and split between the two and the point of the exercise was to focus 100% on the breath, not 50 or 60% but Ben never asked for that. He obviously didn't need to!
Another great example of the mind tricking someone in the group... (I'm getting a little confused about who is tricking who now .. which bit is the mind, the ego, the I, the observer .... lets come back to this (tricksters) )... , without him even knowing it was when in the feedback & reflection discussion after the meditation the chap next to me said that he had been focused on his breath consistently for at least a minute. It was only when I blurted out "who was counting" that he realized that he hadn't even achieved that. (giggle)
And that seems to be one of the most beautiful things about meditation. The dissolving of time. The more focused I become the less sense of time I have. (alpha state) What is the deciding factor that makes us think something took a long time or was no time at all. We all have experienced times when time seemed like no time and other times when time took forever, and isn't this what we call boredom? So what is boredom "One that is wearingly dull, repetitive, or tedious." ....
I have a distinct sense of flicking through lots of different subjects here ... not quite sure what the best way to talk about all these interesting subject is. I'm going to add reminders in colour for me to come back to so that I can try and maintain a single subject for more that a sentence (scatter brain). Thats a great idea! Never-the-less I'm actually quite pleased that subjects are firing off and I'm having to find a logical way to manage them. WOW .. what a contrast to the mind set I was in when I started. The fear, the opinions, the self consciousness, the laziness .. yuck. It shows how our minds, MY MIND, can be so limiting and that if I can just get some momentum going, how this can escalate into only god knows what.
My yoga teacher's told us quite rightly that the hardest thing in yoga is getting yourself to the end of the mat. I thought that was a very helpful observaton. Don't think beyond that point if you have trouble motivating yourself as I do quite often. Isn't that wy we do it in a group. So there is no option to quit and say ... arrr bollocks .. I can't be doing with this. This is bloody hard work you know, what do you think your doing?
I know Ben has spent a long time with boredom. Tarchin's advice when Ben asked what to do when he gets bored was "Focus on the breath"!!! It had never occurred to me till that point that you can tackle boredom by focusing on the breath. How profound. So boredom must be caused by a lack of focus, a lack of attention ...
(this might all seem obvious and I am sure it will seem like you always new these meanings when you read the description, coz all you have to do is agree or not agree, but I have been continually suprised by how people I talk to, my friends (you know who you are!!!) ..don't know the full meaning of words that they use on a regular basis. And these aren't stupid friends either you know! (Pooh Bear) (i.e. the difference between having pride & to be proud (
Interlude .. PONDER ON THIS ... a question for you all. I got this from Tim Shmit's (Director of the Eden Project) article in resurgence.
"How many things do you have opinions about that you know nothing about?" ~COMMENTS PLZ~
... back to boredom for a minute ... so why is harder to be bored than to to be focused. Is it because boredom is actually when one is scatter brained and thinking about lots of subjects as opposed to none. I've always associated boredom with a lack of things to think about not the opposite. That makes more sense to me. Like a firemans water hose flailing around without anyone guiding its stream and the relief there is once it is under control.
I'm going to sign off my 1st ever blog now and have a look to see what it looks like once its published. I have to say its been a truly pleasurable experience and I'm actually looking forward to returning and expanding. I've been suprised at how much is in waiting to get out and how just by writing I am already beginning to self assess and learn more about myself. My typing seems to be speeding up too!!!
Lots of love to you, me and us.
Chow 4 Now...
My friend Ben has just returned from a retreat centre in the north of the South Island of New Zealand with teacher Tarchin Hearn.
http://www.wangapeka.org/teacherbios/tarchinhearn.html
Ben has completed his second sitting of 5 months at this centre and is now back here in Pembrokeshire passing on his lessons to some of us. He held his first meditation session here at my studio ... http://www.shireinitiative.co.uk/studio/ ...last week at which 8 friends attended. It turned out to be a great 2 hour session with body movement, walking & sitting meditation where we had to focus on the breath in & out of the nostrils for 20 minutes. Its suprising how difficult this is and my mind was whizzing off playing all sorts of tricks trying to justify itself talking. Even as far as telling me (the observer, I guess) that we could do both at the same time, I can listen to my mind talking while simultaneously listening to my breath. I went along with this for a while and even convinced myself I must be clever. Then rational mind brought me back to thinking that the intensity of thought must have been diluted and split between the two and the point of the exercise was to focus 100% on the breath, not 50 or 60% but Ben never asked for that. He obviously didn't need to!
Another great example of the mind tricking someone in the group... (I'm getting a little confused about who is tricking who now .. which bit is the mind, the ego, the I, the observer .... lets come back to this (tricksters) )... , without him even knowing it was when in the feedback & reflection discussion after the meditation the chap next to me said that he had been focused on his breath consistently for at least a minute. It was only when I blurted out "who was counting" that he realized that he hadn't even achieved that. (giggle)
And that seems to be one of the most beautiful things about meditation. The dissolving of time. The more focused I become the less sense of time I have. (alpha state) What is the deciding factor that makes us think something took a long time or was no time at all. We all have experienced times when time seemed like no time and other times when time took forever, and isn't this what we call boredom? So what is boredom "One that is wearingly dull, repetitive, or tedious." ....
I have a distinct sense of flicking through lots of different subjects here ... not quite sure what the best way to talk about all these interesting subject is. I'm going to add reminders in colour for me to come back to so that I can try and maintain a single subject for more that a sentence (scatter brain). Thats a great idea! Never-the-less I'm actually quite pleased that subjects are firing off and I'm having to find a logical way to manage them. WOW .. what a contrast to the mind set I was in when I started. The fear, the opinions, the self consciousness, the laziness .. yuck. It shows how our minds, MY MIND, can be so limiting and that if I can just get some momentum going, how this can escalate into only god knows what.
My yoga teacher's told us quite rightly that the hardest thing in yoga is getting yourself to the end of the mat. I thought that was a very helpful observaton. Don't think beyond that point if you have trouble motivating yourself as I do quite often. Isn't that wy we do it in a group. So there is no option to quit and say ... arrr bollocks .. I can't be doing with this. This is bloody hard work you know, what do you think your doing?
I know Ben has spent a long time with boredom. Tarchin's advice when Ben asked what to do when he gets bored was "Focus on the breath"!!! It had never occurred to me till that point that you can tackle boredom by focusing on the breath. How profound. So boredom must be caused by a lack of focus, a lack of attention ...
(this might all seem obvious and I am sure it will seem like you always new these meanings when you read the description, coz all you have to do is agree or not agree, but I have been continually suprised by how people I talk to, my friends (you know who you are!!!) ..don't know the full meaning of words that they use on a regular basis. And these aren't stupid friends either you know! (Pooh Bear) (i.e. the difference between having pride & to be proud (
Interlude .. PONDER ON THIS ... a question for you all. I got this from Tim Shmit's (Director of the Eden Project) article in resurgence.
"How many things do you have opinions about that you know nothing about?" ~COMMENTS PLZ~
... back to boredom for a minute ... so why is harder to be bored than to to be focused. Is it because boredom is actually when one is scatter brained and thinking about lots of subjects as opposed to none. I've always associated boredom with a lack of things to think about not the opposite. That makes more sense to me. Like a firemans water hose flailing around without anyone guiding its stream and the relief there is once it is under control.
I'm going to sign off my 1st ever blog now and have a look to see what it looks like once its published. I have to say its been a truly pleasurable experience and I'm actually looking forward to returning and expanding. I've been suprised at how much is in waiting to get out and how just by writing I am already beginning to self assess and learn more about myself. My typing seems to be speeding up too!!!
Lots of love to you, me and us.
Chow 4 Now...
posted by LocalEyes at 8:36 am
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